Drake & McTrowell's Library of Limericks - Clockwork Alchemy 2017

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Concept: Boiler
Word: Flammable hydrocarbon
Author: Jerrie Paterson

Having at last slaked his thirst
He wasn’t prepared for the wort
He found me must pass
A surfeit of gas
Or else his boiler would burst
Concept: Orientalism
Word: Bowler
Author: Jonathan Knell

A haberdasher one though it so nice
To mix hats with oriental spice
You could order a bonnet
That had tempura on it
And it came with a bowler of rice
Concept: Adventure
Word: Monocle
Author: Chard Lowden

There was a young man named McPhee
Who ran off to a life on the sea
His eyesight was so poor
That to find the privy’s door
His monocle was required to pee
Concept: Industrial Mega City
Word: Wells
Author: Dover Whitecliff

An industrial city fantastical
Was so big it was kind of impractical
Their wells were too small
With no water at all
And no school to teach things mathematical
Concept: Boots, Then Corset
Word: Mummy
Author: Jeanine Gray

My mummy one day on the doorstep
Said always the boots before corset
She taught me to tie
The shoes before I
Cinched it tight to my mid-set
Concept: Adventure
Word: Faraday
Author: Jonathan Knell

On my airship I sailed off one May
When a lightning storm came out my way
Though the lightning did rage
I was safe in my cage
All in all, it was a faraday.
Concept: Time Travel
Word: Telescope
Author: Richard Bruner

As I spied the stars through my telescope
I sped back through the ages via optoscope
The miles took the years
As the pledge took the beers
And we have nothing left to hope.
Author: Unsigned

A straight-laced steampunker called Laurel
Said, “All this kissing and touching’s immoral
So, if my dates get too frisky
I just offer them whiskey
I’ve earlier laced with some chloral”
Author: Jerrie Paterson

Madam Askew, the tea diva supreme
Serves tea with grace, with sugar and cream
She’s at home on the stage
Where she’s quite the rate
In her ensembles which are always a dream
Author: Jerrie Paterson

Her partner, Erasmus Drake
Though handsome, is never a rake
His mustache that curls
Sends sighs through the girls
But it’s Sparky who’s his piece of cake
Concept: Alternative History
Word: Chronometric
Author: Chard Lowden

When researching moments in time
Chronometrics distract every line
But, it just doesn’t matter
When you’re mad as a hatter
Like our leader who’s misplace his mind
Concept: Difference Engine
Word: Cthulhu
Author: Unsigned

Cthulhu’s a great engineer
He invented all his own gear
From undersea scooter
To coral computers
Babbage stole his designs, so I hear
Concept: Air Pirates
Word: Cog
Author: Dover Whitecliff

The air pirate Zeppelin “Inflamerous”
Had a poodle and tomcat quite amorous
They emerged from the fog
With a dat and a cog
And the offspring were terribly glamorous
Concept: Spiritualism
Word: Albert
Author: Jeanine Gray

Prince Albert sat thinking a place
Seeing that ghosts were haunting his can
He paid a medium
To come by to see him
To give his demons the ban
Concept: Human Augmentation
Word: Temporal
Author: Jerrie Paterson

A lady with hooters petite
Wanted them far more replete
Her temporal activity
Succumbed to the proclivity
So, she plumped them up, quite the treat
Concept: Mad Science
Word: Coal
Author: Unsigned

A young alchemist we’ll call Joel
Said “I’ve invented a new kind of coal
It’s not black; it’s white
And it gives off clean light”
Cried his grandma “Well, bless you, dear soul”
Concept: Industrialization
Word: Top Hat
Author: John R. Schmidt

It truly can be said to be the rage
When it’s seen on the rich and the stage
A sign of industrialization
Showing in height, high aspiration
The top hat’s rich fashion, not a brain cage.
Author: Unsigned

An airship adventurer McTrowell
Pursuing a miscreant foul
Fell into a vat
Of cooling whale fat
And said, “What I need is a towel”
Author: Jerrie Paterson

There is a young author named Sparky
Who would never write anything snarky
She hasn’t a vice
And only writes nice
But certainly never malarkey
Author: Jerrie Paterson

My dearest niece, Molly, is sweet
She has a closet with costumes replete
She can sew up a storm
And barely gets warm
She’s the master of the careful box pleat

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